I think im going to throw up on grandma
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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