I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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