We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Couch. On fire.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
