I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
