We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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