Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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