Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I can't turn off my feet"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
