Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
