Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
