Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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