so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
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i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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