You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize