Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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