i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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