Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
