imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
