We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
