What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
