I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
