last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Congratulations! We have a period
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