I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
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We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
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He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize