we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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