I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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