Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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