dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
More tranny stories later!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
