sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
