I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
