its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
