I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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