Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
