Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
