Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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