I want to stick my p in your. b.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
