dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
