I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
