I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
