try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize