Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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