It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
