I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
