Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think my moral compass just broke
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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