i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
