she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
