Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
