ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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