NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
