Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
there's paper in my vomit.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
