I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
