so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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