My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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