Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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