Cold hands, warm shart.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
