I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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