we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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