Apparently you make a good broom.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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