shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
