I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
