Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
