Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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